Tag Archives: Charlie Sheen

Miley Cyrus: Meltdown Watch

13 Aug

It was pretty clear something would go awry with Miley Cryrus after that Vanity Fair June 2008 photo shoot. You know, the one where she was placed inside of her father’s crotch?  Yeah, that one. But, she seemed to be growing up surprisingly well for a child star. She finished off Hannah Montana normally, even making a 2009 movie and appearing in several other Disney projects. She lent her voice to 2008’s Bolt and transitioned into a post-Hannah life with the safe chick-flick The Last Song (2010).
So far, so good. Even that video of Cyrus on “salvia” was quickly forgotten along with her November “stoner” admission. It was just silly Miley being a rebellious teen!

I hope this is the picture over the Cyrus Family fireplace

Then, this summer happened. First she announced her engagement to Aussie cutie Liam Hemsworth. Even though the two are planning “a long engagement” that’s a lot of commitment for a 19-year-old. I would know, being 19 and all. Then she stopped generally wearing pants and bleached her hair. How, “not a girl, not yet a woman of her.”

Is Liam upset she’s wearing his suit jacket as a complete outfit?

Obviously, the pants forgetting and blonde hair dying wouldn’t be the end of Cyrus’s summer. This weekend, she chopped off all her hair, unfortunately reminding me of a more sane Britney circa 2008 (even though she’s quite excited about the new haircut, congrats MyCy). If she gets an umbrella in hand, everyone watch out. But, luckily Cyrus is going to work! She’s successfully booked a show. Out of every series that would love to have her on for a ratings-bump, she’s decided on Charlie Sheen’s leftovers: Two And a Half Men. She’ll play half-man August T. Jones’ love interest this season and appear on multiple episodes.

As long as she doesn’t agree to actually working with Sheen, there’s some hope! Welcome to Miley Cyrus’ Quarter-Life Crisis. I’m willing to bet it’ll be a bumpy ride.

No. Words….

Lady Gaga Is Quite The Chameleon

29 Jul

The sequel for Robert Rodriguez’s 2010 shoot-’em-up Machete, the ingeniously named Machete Kills, is famous for its crazy casting. No other film can boast having Mel Gibson, Cuba Gooding Jr., Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, and Spy Kid Alexa Vega on one call sheet. Plus, Charlie Sheen is the president in Machete Land. No joke.

I hope Sheen and Gibson sport equally sexy costumes.

Well, there’s one more name to add to the Machete madness: Lady Gaga. Mother Monster has chosen Rodriguez’s latest film to make her acting debut. Nope, definetely didn’t see that one coming. In Kills she will play La Chameleon, a vampy fox/wolf (?) wearing smoking gun according to a recently released poster (featured below). Weirdly enough Gooding Jr. is listed as “El Chameleon” on IMDb. Are they a team? Or did Rodriguez just drop Gooding’s El for Gaga’s La? Here’s to hoping they’re a kickass biracial couple.

In case you were wondering what this movie could actually be about, the US government sends Danny Trejo’s Machete into Mexico to stop an arms dealer from launching a weapon into space. If anyone can see where Lady Gaga falls into that, please let me know.

I see what you’re doing there… No wait. I don’t. At all.

Rodriguez’s casting choice is clearly just an attempt to help us feel comfortable with Lady Gaga The Actress. Everyone knows that Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino are BFF’s. And everyone knows that Kill Bill Vol. 3 is somewhere in the works (but it’s QT, “in the works” could take 10 years). So, no one should be surprised when Gaga is cast as a very grown up B.B.- it’s bound to happen.