Armageddon 2012 Is On Track: Snooki May Be Pregnant

29 Feb

While sitting in Biological Athropology, one of the lovely Baby Squirrels whispered “Snooki’s pregnant.” I considered running out of the 150 person lecture hall screaming and checking this out for my self. But the tarsier staring at me from the projector paralyzed me with fear (seriously, look that thing up).

“That obviously couldn’t be true!” I rationalized to myself (while averting my eyes from the tarsier). “If there’s even a possibility of God’s existence, He wouldn’t let Nicole Polizzi bring a child into this world! It would probably have suffered alcohol poisoning by now!”

When I look at this, you know what I think? “That chick needs a baby.”

Unfortunately, my pleas were for naught. Snooki… is probably pregnant. I never thought I would write those words… in that order… ever.  The report is on New York Post’s Page Six , and that’s how you know it’s true.

The cooka flashing star has yet to officially announce her pregnancy, but “sources” say she’s three months preggers. Sources, that’s always a good sign. If she actually is, this will probably infringe on her new branding. Snooks just started showing off her rockin’ beach bod and is kicking off a show with Jenny JWoww Farley. Im pretty darn sure her and Jenny weren’t planning on dedicating a episode to actual crib shopping… awkward.

Well that whole weight loss thing was pretty pointless now…

But really though,  if Snooki’s about to give birth what’s next… LiLo is expecting twins? Maybe that’s why she’s  hosting SNL…


4 Responses to “Armageddon 2012 Is On Track: Snooki May Be Pregnant”

  1. February 29, 2012 at 3:05 PM #

    Definitely the end of the world when Khloe Kardashian can’t conceive a child but Snooki can.

    • Ariana Romero February 29, 2012 at 3:09 PM #

      It’s a sad day for the human race, indeed…

  2. Vivaciously Fabulous February 29, 2012 at 3:06 PM #

    I wonder if the baby will come out spray tanned….

    • Ariana Romero February 29, 2012 at 3:10 PM #

      I’m pretty sure she’s tanned enough to change her genetic make-up. So yeah, it probably should.

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